A few weeks ago, I found myself out shopping for Christmas and I could just feel the stress starting to take over. You know the feeling - your heart rate goes up, you feel your skin getting flushed, the adrenaline starts pumping, and your brain begins shouting commands and consequences at you. You see, no matter how hard I tried to control it, it seemed like the gift list kept getting more and more out of hand - especially where it concerned my 5 year old. I don't make a habit of letting my kids give Santa a list a mile long. We go to a specific website, fill in the 3 blanks on a prefabricated letter, and then we wait for Christmas to come. In years past, we've been lucky that friends shared the big ticket items with us because they no longer needed them; a bike, a Power Wheels Jeep, stuff like that. But this year was different. This year we had 3 kids to buy for and the oldest had seriously upped her game. As I stood in the middle of the store, cart overflowing, comparing prices and trying to control my outrage at certain items being sold out, something inside me (the Holy Spirit, perhaps?) said in a still, small voice: "Are you really going to blow the budget just because you can't tell a 5 year old 'no'? Just because you can't tell yourself 'no'?" Suddenly, I saw the ridiculousness that was my shopping cart. Then and there, I decided that this year, and every year following, was going to be different.
Yes, we were still going to do Santa, but he is only bringing one gift instead of three. Not only that, but he gets to pick which one of the three he is going to bring. Instead of opening all our gifts on Christmas Day, we were going to actually observe the 12 days of Christmas and open a new gift every day. Maybe that gift will be a fun new toy from Grandma and Grandpa or maybe it will be boring new underwear from Mom because seriously, you need new underwear. Feeling relieved, I started to smile as I put things back on the shelf, feeling the adrenaline rush secede with each step . So maybe she wouldn't get the FurReal GoGo Walking Dog thing and the LeapPad and the Frozen comforter set; but guess what, she would survive. You know why? Because she already has access to an iPad with a ton of games, a comforter set that she doesn't use, and tons of stuffed animals - both of the animated and the stationary variety. And you know what else? She would survive because Christmas isn't all about getting gifts; it's about the promise of receiving priceless things like hope, peace, joy, and love. It's about the Love that came down on the first Christmas, revealed first to those who were just a bit different, who noticed things like new stars appearing in the sky and sang songs of joy over being chosen by God; who were willing to give God a chance to do something new and life changing. It's why we give to missions and send shoe boxes with toothpaste and socks and toys halfway around the world; not because we'll get brownie points but because we actually think and care about the people who don't have clean water to drink or enough food to eat, much less iPads and comforters. It's why we give year round and not just in December.
Now, I know I sound a little nutty - and I assure you - I seriously don't have anything against presents. I really don't expect my kids not to get excited about presents, that's just not realistic, they're kids! And if we're being honest here, I still get excited about presents, because it's fun to see what other people get when they think of me. But maybe, just maybe, somewhere in the excitement of getting, I can introduce them to the excitement of giving. And you know what? It's working. Yesterday, all my 5 year old could talk about was the gifts she wanted to make for her siblings and her parents. Today, she wanted us all to open the gifts she so carefully wrapped because she was so excited about them. But I told her we had to wait. Why? Because that's what the season of Advent is about; waiting out the anticipation that seems overbearing at times, because when we wait, it makes the surprise of Christmas that much more delightful. It's a hard lesson to learn, but I'm hoping the season of Christmas (not what we consider the Christmas season, starting in August and then steamrolling straight towards Dec. 25th where it then crashes and burns in a blaze of glory and wrapping paper, but the season celebrated by the church that actually starts on Christmas and lasts for 12 days) will help in the learning process.
Kevin and I work to keep Advent and it's special meaning separate from the more secular part of actual Christmas that involves Santa and the like, but we don't shut Santa out completely. It bothers me when people rail against Santa, claiming he's just Satan with the letters rearranged. Give me a break, people, Santa is modeled after an actual saint. Last time I checked, Satan failed miserably in the "saint"' category. He doesn't care about or give gifts to anybody. However, I do not discount the reason many of them get upset; oftentimes they feel that the holiness of Christmas gets overshadowed by the sheer consumerism and political correctness that drives the season nowadays. I get it, it bothers me too. Only I don't see it as my job to force "holiness" onto others who will not own it for themselves, and that's where I differ from many; but I will call out my fellow believers when they're losing sight of the end goal - sharing the love of God with the world he created. If we remember the story correctly, God did not force himself on the world, storming in on a white stallion, sword held high, ready to march into battle. God came quietly into the world, by way of an unmarried virgin and her brave betrothed, heralded by shepherds and astronomers and a multitude of angels giving a private concert. Heaven itself spilled out, a little at a time, splashing out onto those who surrounded him. That's what Christmas has always been about and is still about; heaven spilling out, a little at a time onto those who surround the followers of this Jesus. To me, that means a smile and a sincere wish of "Happy Holidays" because I don't know what holiday you celebrate and I really don't want to endanger your job, but I do want you to know that love still exists in this world and that the Kingdom of God is at hand and that there is joy to be had. The joy that made John leap in Elizabeth's womb is still available for whosoever will. I don't want you to know I'm a Christian just because I say "Merry Christmas", I want you to know I'm a Christian because of the way I act, both at Christmas and the rest of the year. They will know we are Christians by our love. So to me, having a mindful Christmas means letting my kids take the time to enjoy the gifts that they do get, reflecting on the person who gave it to them, and knowing that they are so very loved by so many people - truly a season full of hope, peace, joy, and love. I'm not worried about attending every party and decorating every part of the house and spending all of my time doing the "stuff" that I've been told is "important." Why? Because it's just not that important. Your kids will not remember the extra decorations you put up or the meticulously decorated sugar cookies but they will remember the time that you didn't spend with them because of the things that didn't really matter. I don't want a busy Christmas, I don't even care about having a "Merry Christmas" as that often implies that there is no room for heartbreak, grief, and dare I say anger during the holiday season. I simply want a mindful Christmas, to feel and experience what each moment brings my way. Why? Because without mindfulness, I might just miss the point.
