I try to steer clear of political issues, but this particular one has touched the lives of my family and my friends. The U.S. is the only industrialized nation that doesn't provide paid maternity leave. We're the only ones, folks. What does that say about the way we value our families and children? It says very little, my friends.
Or maybe it says a lot.
If parents (yes, Dad too) had the resources to be able to stay home while acclimating to life with a new baby, maybe having more children wouldn't be viewed so much as a hardship (or just plain crazy), but instead the blessing that it is. Whether it's the first time or the fifth time, life with a newborn (or a new child if you've adopted) is extremely hard. Kevin and I are blessed to have an employer who is willing to work with us when I need extra help at home, but so many do not have what we have. And I'm not picking on employers, I get it, who can afford that? But even then, if I would've known for sure that Kevin would be provided with a few weeks of paid leave after a new baby (I'm not even asking for 12 weeks, 2 would be awesome!), postpartum depression wouldn't have been as much of a concern because I would've been assured that I would have the help I needed in order to actually recover from childbirth. (Wait, you mean that recovering from 9 months of constant energy depleting work and then adding labor and birth and a screaming baby on top of it actually takes time? Mind blowing.) And just in case you didn't know, having a baby isn't exactly a vacation, in fact, it's pretty much the opposite of a vacation, so it kinda stinks to have to use vacation and sick leave in order to have some semblance of recovery. (By the way, did you know that men can also suffer from PPD? Yeah, it's not just a girl disease.) Women in the US (at least according to our media and celebrity culture) are expected to jump out of bed an hour after birth and run a marathon while exclusively breastfeeding with little effort and showing off their post baby body in a string bikini. It's ridiculous. Maybe if more women were encouraged to take care of themselves as well as their children, we would have healthier families overall. The UK sends midwives to new mothers' houses to check on them and the baby for 6 weeks after birth, but we're expected to make our own appointment with a busy doctor and initiate any serious conversation about postpartum issues, often being cut off at the pass by the receptionist. I kid you not, when I called to make my appointment after Jacob and mentioned that I had been struggling with PPD - diagnosed by a doctor!!! - she had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't have postpartum depression because I was too far past childbirth (6 weeks? Really? Studies show it can develop anytime within the first year and last for 2 to 3 years if not treated). When I asked what I was supposed to do, she stumbled and bumbled around until she finally said I needed to call my GP instead. Knowing the importance of getting help, I did just that, but what about the young single mom who is struggling with depression for the first time and may not have the presence of mind to know that receptionist had no idea what she was talking about and overstepped her bounds by giving out false medical information over the phone? Who will help her when she may be unable to help herself?
Businesses will clamor that they can't afford to pay for more leave, others will clamor that the government will raise our taxes in order to help cover expenses - and they will all have valid points - but could we, as a nation, at least start a conversation rather than an argument? Strong healthy families = a strong healthy nation. Check out the video below. #leadonleave
