I realized today that I'm in the 30th week of pregnancy. I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was pregnant and that the pokes and pulls I feel in the abdominal area were the work of a precious baby boy - but when I say I realized I mean I realized. Has this ever happened to you? You are aware of something happening - and then suddenly it hits you like a ton of bricks. I realized this particular ton of bricks means that I have about 10 weeks left, give or take a few days, to get "ready" for this new baby. How is one ever really ready for such a thing?
A new experience for me in this pregnancy has been the well-known phenomenon of "nesting". I didn't experience this with Karis (at least not to this degree), but as our life is progressing into having two children, it's become necessary for me to develop some new skills in the organization department. I've been trying to channel this neurotic energy into forming good habits that I can keep up after the baby is here. I've had moderate success in things like keeping the dishwasher unloaded to avoid dish pile up and doing at least one load of laundry a day to avoid laundry pile up.
Anyway, one of the things I've noticed is how I get myself all revved up to complete a task...and then 30 minutes into it, I am panting and huffing and have to sit down to catch my breath. I've experienced a similar phenomenon with pregnancy nausea. I have suffered from "morning sickness" as an eternal force in both of my pregnancies. Okay, so maybe not eternal, but it's lasted WAY past 12 weeks. Try 40 weeks of being nauseous. Thank the Lord for Zofran. Luckily, it's been better with this pregnancy, but it's here again that I experience the oxymoron - super hunger pangs combined with nausea. I want to eat but food disgusts me. I want to clean but cleaning exhausts me. And here's a good one for you: there's apparently a place referred to as a "dental spa".....I believe that there are certain things that just can't coexist and the words "dental" and "spa" are two of them. "Would you like your massage before or after we drill through your skull?"
It reminds me a little of how Jesus used to drive people nuts by answering their questions with more questions or a story that made no sense. In Matthew 12 and 13 we find an example of this. The disciples are all, "Hey Jesus, your mom and bros are outside, asking for you," and Jesus is all, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" and then points at the disciples and says "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." Later that same day, he told the parable about the seeds (among others) and further confused everyone. Can you imagine the reaction the disciples and his family had to his answer? I'm sure by this point, Mary was pretty used to Jesus and his tendency to march to the beat of his own drum (remember the Temple incident?), but I'll bet the disciples were a little bewildered as to why they had been referred to as his mother and brothers. At least one of them probably leaned over and whispered to his neighbor, "My Mama would've KILLED me if I said that!"
The apostle Paul speaks of the same problem in Romans 7:19 -
"I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."
Life is full of these oxymorons. How do we handle them? I don't really have an answer to that. The best I can come up with is to keep pushing forward, trying to do what's right, and trusting Jesus when he says his yoke is easy and his burden is light. It doesn't mean he'll make everything in life easy, but it does mean that when we commit these things to him and ask for help, he is always faithful to help us. Putting on the yoke of Jesus isn't just a one time thing, it takes daily re-commitment and remembering that we are not meant to do it by ourselves. Ask for help. Don't be afraid to admit you can't do it all and say no when you need to, without guilt or needing to justify your actions. Sit down and just take in the beauty around you, regardless of what "needs" to be done. You'll be better for it.
Be heartened, dear friends, we are not alone. That being said, I fear I must follow my own advice and go tackle the kitchen.
No comments:
Post a Comment