Experiencing faith.

"Faith is the art of holding onto things in spite of your changing moods and circumstances." - C.S. Lewis

Boy, have I learned that the hard way throughout this pregnancy.  I'm still in a giant learning curve with this whole diet thing, but I have started learning a few things about myself.

During Lent, I decided at first that I would be really good Monday - Saturday with my diet and testing and then allow myself to enjoy a "feast" day on Sundays (I had been told by my OB office that I didn't have to be so strict now that I had proven I could keep my numbers under control). Now, I'm not stupid, so I didn't go overboard, but I did have more refined sugar than I normally do on this new diet. I still checked my levels and they were within range, which brings me to my next point: I am now totally convinced that refined sugar is closely related to poison. It's a proven addiction:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugar_addiction

Why do I think this?  I'll tell you. As to be expected, I went through detox again yesterday (Monday).  I. Felt. Awful.  The exhaustion was back.  The bone dragging fatigue was back.  The depression and anxiety were back.  I really did feel poisoned, I could hardly get out of bed all day.  But, true to my decision, I spent yesterday sticking strictly to my diet, all good carbs and lots of protein and fiber.  And guess what!  I woke up this morning feeling incredible. Coincidence? I think not.

The hardest thing, for me, about this diet and diagnosis is being told "No."  "No, you can't eat that.  No, you can't drink that.  No, you can't skip meals.  No, you can't carry until 41 or 42 weeks."  No, no, no.  And like any good toddler, I mean human, I don't like being told "No".  I tend to get all stubborn and huffy and decide I'm going to do it anyway because they don't know me!  Except, they do, because I'm human, like every other woman they see, and when you eat crap, you feel like crap, and your body doesn't work like it should.  I've come to realize that in food talk, "refined" simply means "removed anything healthy to extend shelf life and make it taste better to our sugar obsessed culture."  It means it's cheaper for everyone, the producer and the consumer, so more money ends up in our pockets and we like that.

I think as Christians, sometimes we make food into an idol.  We often don't participate in "worldly things" like drugs, rock music, alcohol, meaningless sex, etc, so we use food as our "outlet", our stress relief.  Go to any good Baptist potluck and you will find every sort of comfort food you could imagine - and that's not even getting started on the dessert table.  We do live in America, after all, so we do everything in excess simply because we can - and food is no different.  There are countless TV shows about food.  We have a network on cable that's all about food and another that's all about cooking. Our parties and vacations are centered around the table and what we're going to eat.

One of the key focuses of Lent is a sense of unity with other Christians around the world and from the past.  This got me to thinking about what my brothers and sisters outside the US eat on a daily basis.  Instead of spilling a bunch of statistics here, I encourage you to research it for yourself.  Go ahead, I'll wait.

Staggering, isn't it?

A lot of churches focus on missions during Lent, leading up to Easter, and our church is no different. This also got me to thinking.  (I think a lot.)  Instead of focusing so much on what I can't have and my "feast day" that I think I "deserve", why don't I use this diet as a chance to share some solidarity with my global family in Christ and eat the way they eat?  Why don't I get myself out of my spoiled American mentality and go without for a little while - and risk having it actually change my life?  I've heard many people return from mission trips and say "I went because I wanted to change them - but instead they changed me."  A friend of mine was on a mission trip in Africa and she had the chance to meet the child that her own family had sponsored through Compassion ministries for years.  When she arrived, the family welcomed her ecstatically.  They showed her how they had saved every book mark and picture that her family had sent over the years.  When it came time to eat, they had prepared a huge feast for her.  She later told her mom that from looking at their house, kitchen, and their food supply, she was sure they had used almost everything they had just to make her feel welcome and to show their gratitude for the help her family had provided over the past several years. They went without because they were grateful.  Hmmm, makes me think twice about Thanksgiving dinner.

We have this idea that going without something we really want is this awful thing.  It's counter cultural to us. Look at the debt we've built up as individuals and a country.  We simply can't tell ourselves no.  We don't have to.  Got too much debt?  Just file bankruptcy, print more money, or raise the debt ceiling.  Not enough money left until the next check?  Get a payday loan or buy a lottery ticket .  It's easy.

This is why self-control is such an important fruit of the Spirit.  Our culture will never teach us self-control, but if we let God in, he will.  You don't even have to travel to Africa, you can start in your own home. He will not just give it to you, he will teach it to you.  Are you willing to give it a try?  What's an area in your life that you can use a little more self-control?